Fr Jim Cogley
It’s a great tribute to be able to say of someone that he or she is as good as their word and it’s painful to deal with someone who is not. They say they will ring back, you keep waiting and they never do. They say they will turn up at a particular time to do a job and you take time off but they never arrive. When you meet them its not reasons you get but excuses and basically excuses are only for non-achievers and non-deliverers. Those who are as good as
their word never use excuses and only seldom have reasons. Every business that operates on the basis of being as good as its word has such a huge advantage over those who don’t, so much so that it’s a wonder more don’t practice that basic principle. Being as good as your word is a basic formula for having a successful life and not just in business. As a follower of Christ, who is the Word, I must be prepared to suffer rather than break my word, no matter how inconvenient. It should be that sacrosanct.
Every parent and teacher can see so clearly that when you give praise and affirmation to a little child they just beam back happiness and contentment and what is given out comes back on the double. Classrooms that are positive and affirming create an atmosphere that is conducive to learning. Homes that are positive and affirming create an atmosphere of well-being. The words create the environment. When we give out words of encouragement we literally pour courage into someone who otherwise might be filled with fear and not very confident. The effect is to see someone grow in self-esteem and achieve more than they ever thought that they could achieve. The word of encouragement liberates the potential of the other. The role of an encourager is to empower someone to do what they least want to do and to achieve what they always wanted to achieve.
An old saying that we all grew up with is that, ‘sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me’. That’s just not true. Harsh and belittling words can and do break our spirit. A word from a parent teacher or friend can be like a poisoned arrow that got lodged into us as a child and as we carry it through life, it continues to release its poisonous venom. At the time it may have been a throw away remark spoken in a moment of annoyance like ‘You clumsy oaf’, ‘You stupid idiot,’ ‘You are fat, whatever.’ Long forgotten by the person who expressed their opinion in that moment, but they can be remembered for a lifetime by the recipient and form the basis of how he or she sees themselves. The word that was spoken becomes what that person believes about themselves and forms the basis of their self-esteem.
In all relationships a certain amount of conflict is inevitable. Working through disagreements rather than cutting or distancing is generally the way relationships grow and develop. At the same time, our tongues need to be disciplined, words spoken in annoyance can be like a bullet fired from a gun that can never be taken back and they usually come back to haunt us. To love to speak the truth is one thing while to speak the truth in love is quite another. The angry
word carries a judgment and doesn’t solve anything except to make matters worse since it forces the other person to rush to their own defense and so the rift only deepens. A prayer from one of the psalms says ‘Set a guard over my mouth O Lord.’ To guard what we say, especially when we are annoyed, is really important because sooner or later we have to eat our words.
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